She knowingly tastes like a recipe...

I don’t want to think of these things that don’t exist

Why does memory torture me so.

You have no idea what you’ve done to me.

Her words cut and sting, and I can’t stay away from them.

It’s so sickening. Such a tragic thing.

To never feel what’s honest only to recall wretched lies that ruin love and destroy the heart and mind.

My soul writhes beneath my skin. The touch, the sting, the knowing….

So close to an affair…so close to losing it all. Why doesn’t it matter to anyone but me…

Why…

Why…

Doesn’t the world feel pain as well??

The past eats away at my present and I roll in turmoil upon the floor. Grasping at illusions, shouting at shadows, the world is false..and I’m false in it, surrounded by false things!!!! Nothing is reality. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

You are not my reality.

My mind plays too heavily with me and I don’t know where to run. Why do this to me…

How sickening. The harlot. The black and white princess. That foul shadow that eats away at my peace of mind. Blimp like though it is.

Her words twist within me. Nothing should be spoken…

It still exists. How..why can’t it be shaken. My life drains from me with these empty words of hers..and of yours..and how you come..cowering to me…as if frightened of my reaction.

It exists. Well and alive. Behind silent eyes that merely mirror the world that they linger in. Such beautiful shows of mockery and of the false. Pretty pretty world of lies.

Enchanting deceptions. So it is…and so…it will be.