Afraid

Shaking ideals are creepy over me today, shivering ideas and fantasies.

Nothing is stable.

Just a dull longing to throw off all I know. Bask in a warm ignorance. Away from the reality that calls itself my life.

I'm terrified.

So much is churning in the world right now.

Standing can be so difficult sometimes...so easy to be thrown down..to land upon the stones...the cold, wet earth..un caring.

The hollow sky looking down with its gray, fleeting eyes..looking over all..miniture life in it's broad face.

Why such shock...

The home, the walls of the home, capturing. Hearing thoughts of others..becoming ashamed..they fear me. My ears. My tongue. Allowing their thoughts to fall upon me...as if un-willingly???

Merely smile..a kind word...un lock their strange ideas. Listen. Listen. Soon silence ensues. No more voices. Merely a quiet thought, echoing through my mind..the corridors of my soul..whispering, shouting, longing..speechless.

A bright shadow to blind and vanish. False, dazzling show...calm smile...gentle eyes...that close upon tears and shaking shadows of illusion.

So afraid...so quiet...wanting to scream in silence..scream silence..engulf in silence. Aching for normality in the most eccentric of ways.

Why hold such a charming contradictions of natures within one person...?

Seamless..brittle..shell....................................................................................

Wrapped up behind closed eyes..and living in the world behind eyelids.