Squished and Coffee Dreams

I don't envy what you've become

I do miss what we had.

Happiness is happiness.

A legitimate joy. A hug that holds past, secrets, warmth and remembrance...and promise.

A steadfast friend.

A lover to keep indoors and hold hands when out. A smile to share. A candle to burn. The air to breathe. In unison.

Two beings and one desire. The world grew curious, stormed now and again, yet constant in a small portion.

The brokenness. Shards of happy things. Jagged edges gleam smooth. Hauntingly close. Memories that should be marked by cross bones. Deadly as poison to linger in. Yet, where else does one turn when the lights have been switched off?

Blackness is blackness. I touch the dark, blind fingers and eyes, groping. Monsters stay when hope is gone.

I welcome replacement in all shapes. All ages. All bodies and things. To drink, to dress, to touch, to kiss, to glow...

Souls that aren't yours, but human is human.

My guess is your thoughts don't dance as mine...

I need a new lead to follow. This shadow dancing has me going in dangerous circles. Criss cross circles. To step and crash. I used to glide. Even in my dreams my steps are heavy now. We bump. Collide. I'm standing in an empty room, remembering the warmth of your turn.

And yet..

we were happy. We were happy.

So much weight falls to the middle of three.

Were.

A word to your name I never would have thought to match.

Were..

No longer "are", an ever fading "will be". Simply four letters. Only 'were', and let well enough alone. Alone to were. Gagging on were. Loathing that were.

Yet..we were.

That way goes the game.

And so many lost poker chips.

I fold. Long to bet more. You have bought me out. The monopoly of me lorded out. Now I rent for moments. Land on my square..any of you. Dog or shoe. Pay a little price. The game goes on.

And yet we were...

happy.

yet..we were.